


A Second Chance

by Alverrann



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Anakin gets redeemed, And more shock, BAMF Padmé Amidala, But not the hero we deserved, Can we finally see these characters talk about their feelings?, F/M, Force Bonds are a thing, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Hurt Anakin Skywalker, I mentioned shock, Lots of shock, Luke Skywalker is the hero we needed, More shock, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka both sorta know, Obi-Wan is the Best, Palpatine is the worst, Protective Ahsoka Tano, Protective Obi-Wan Kenobi, Protective Padmé Amidala, Right?, That's probably a big reason that Palps got as far as he did, Vader and Anakin are different people, emotionally, sorta - Freeform, ya'know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:22:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23103172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alverrann/pseuds/Alverrann
Summary: Swept to the past after his death, Anakin wakes to the world he knew before his fall to the dark side. Confusion abounds, while the Force confirms the truth; Anakin has been given a second chance.How will he use it?
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker & Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 258
Kudos: 654





	1. Shock

**Author's Note:**

> I randomly wrote this on a whim after reading a lot of going-back-in-time fics by others (most of which were excellent, btw). I noticed that the majority of them - if not all - involved Obi-Wan being the one to go back, and I wondered how it would change if I made it Anakin.
> 
> So I wrote it. :) Please enjoy.

"Tell your sister … you were right …"

Luke's eyes may have been the same color as his father's, and yet at that moment Vader - no, _Anakin_ \- could only see Padmé. It was that knowledge that allowed him the peace he felt, the first peace he had felt in years, as he allowed his eyes to slip closed.

At last, he could rest.

This being his last thought, he was surprised when his head abruptly exploded in pain, seemingly coming from everywhere at once. Emotions and thoughts were all muddled behind the wall of absolute pain, and the once-Sith found himself doubling over from the sheer amount of it that assaulted him.

"Anakin!"

A voice he hadn't heard in years, speaking his name in a way that he never thought to hear again … It was hard to think through the pain, and Anakin threw his shields up, blocking everything out so he could focus.

"Anakin, _answer me_." Strong hands gripped his shoulders in an urgent manner. There was a brush against his shields, and he forced his eyes open at last. For a moment everything before him was blurred, but it soon came into focus and brilliant colors burst before him, almost none of them tinged red.

Obi-Wan looked just as he had during the war; brow furrowed and eyes intense. "Anakin, what-?"

Anakin was reeling backwards, pulling out of the other man's arms, falling to the floor - distantly he saw that he was in a diner, and many people surrounded him.

"Anakin!" Hands followed him - Obi-Wan's hands - catching at his tunic and softening his fall. He didn't turn to respond. He couldn't.

He had killed Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan was dead.

He tried to ignore the calming hand on his back as he retched on the floor. He tried to ignore the firm voice that ordered the people to move away, to give him space.

Soon there was nothing left for him to throw up, and the hand at his back patted him comfortingly. "Anakin, you're not well."

So obvious. So understated. So Obi-Wan. Though after so many years it was easy to hear the concern that laced the rounded tones of his old master. Anakin wanted to laugh and cry all at once, and swallowed heavily as bile rose in his throat once more. He didn't deserve that concern. How had he missed it before?

"Can you stand?" The hand shifted to just under his bicep, ready to help him up. Anakin gave a shaky nod after a moment, then felt himself being hauled to his feet with a strength that was just as understated as its owner. "I think it would be best to leave now, don't you?" Worry still infused the voice, though it was harder to hear in the dry tone. "Sorry about the mess, Dex."

"Don't worry about it, Obi." A voice that Anakin could only describe as large answered knowingly. Another voice that didn't exist anymore. "Go take care of yer boy."

"Thank you." Obi-Wan's hand never loosened its grip, and Anakin was suddenly glad for it as he felt his knees buckle, his legs turning to jelly beneath him.

His _legs_.

He hadn't had legs in so long ...

The air changed suddenly, and instinctively Anakin knew they were outside; fresh air touched his lungs and throat in a way that it hadn't for years. He just couldn't quite remember exiting the diner. He found himself being lowered to the ground, being leaned against the wall behind him.

A hand rested itself against his forehead, and there came a sigh that had him opening his eyes (when had he closed them?). Obi-Wan didn't say anything as he studied Anakin's face, and the once-again young man was forced to speak first. "O- … Obi-Wan?"

"Anakin … what _happened_ in there?" The older (though for Anakin, much younger) Jedi was crouched before him, his face a picture of worry. "A vision?"

Anakin could feel a prod along their blocked bond, and slowly opened it up a little, allowing his master to touch him through the Force. Obi-Wan didn't disappoint, sending a wave of calm through their bond almost immediately.

It wasn't until Obi-Wan reached forward and wiped a tear from his cheek that Anakin realized he was crying. "Oh, Anakin … what did you _see_?"

Anakin didn't answer. All of his bonds had been in tatters for so long … to feel his old master again in this way … He closed his eyes. All of his bonds were there again. Obi-Wan's was the strongest, since he had just opened it, but with a little prodding he felt Ahsoka, and his tears began to flow even more freely than before.

After years of crying behind a mask, it was near impossible for him to control the emotions that were erupting. It didn't help when a pair of strong arms enveloped him, his Master forgoing more words in the face of physical comfort.

Anakin could feel the echo of alarm from his own Padawan, just as the worry of his Master all but enveloped him. It was ... beautiful. The only master he had been with for so long-

For a moment Anakin panicked, and he immediately searched his mind, dreading what he would find. Of course it was there. It had always been there. Knowing how to look for it made it simple to find, and he could feel Palpatine's confusion and alarm echoing along it just as he had felt Ahsoka's.

Curled in his mind around the darkness that was in him, the bond with his dark master had always hidden. That was how the Emperor (no, not the Emperor. Not anymore) had always known when he was bothered, or just how to manipulate him. It was the last bond that Anakin had broken, and he would relish breaking it again-

Wait. He searched his mind frantically again, and froze when he found it. His last bond.

Padmé.

"Padmé!" Anakin jerked his head back, and winced when it collided with the wall. That didn't stop him from attempting to get to his feet, however, realizing that his wife was still alive! She was-!

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan's voice brought him back to reality, sharp and reprimanding. "What do you think you're doing? I'm certain that if Padmé were in need we would have been notified!" Strong hands kept Anakin from running towards the speeder that was parked not too far away (Only Obi-Wan would be able to park behind Dex's diner and get away with it).

"But-!"

"Anakin." Obi-Wan's eyes were hard, and it was clear that he wasn't going to budge on this. "You just collapsed from something that caused a very large backlash in the Force. It almost broke our bond, and I'm certain that I'm not the only one that felt it. So until I'm also certain that you're not going to fall over dead, it's best that you don't go running off to save a senator that hardly seems to need it."

Anakin wanted to fight him on it, but his head hurt so much … and he was tired of fighting against his Master. He slumped back against the wall after giving a tired nod. It was like Obi-Wan hadn't even been surprised that he had called for Padmé. Now with so many years behind him, Anakin was tempted to ask if the man didn't already know. Perhaps his old Master had always known.

That only made him angry at Palpatine all over again.

"Anakin, _what did you see_?"

It was good that his old com-link chose that moment to beep, since Anakin had no idea how to answer that question, and he slipped slowly to the ground again as he tiredly answered it. Obi-Wan let him. His breath caught when a small hologram of his once-again teenage Padawan flickered to life. "Skyguy? I- … Are you all right? I felt something and then you closed the bond, and- … what happened?"

"I … I'll tell you when we get back, Ahsoka." He managed to speak, but his voice was threatening to give out into more sobs as he looked at her. Her lekku were short and her montrals were so much smaller ... the last time he had seen her, she had been a woman.

She had been trying to avenge his death ... by killing him ...

"All right, Skyguy, but this explanation had better be good." Her resolve was clearly as firm as her voice, but that didn't stop the latter from shaking a little. The call ended, and Anakin looked up to find Obi-Wan seated on the ground before him.

"Please tell me you didn't close your bond off with her like that as well, Anakin ..." Obi-Wan hid his worry well, but it wasn't well enough for Anakin to ignore it. Something in the expression reminded him of Luke, and his throat ached with the effort of not crying. "You've never been this closed before."

"Does it make you feel left out?" Anakin couldn't help but ask, since Obi-Wan was honestly the one who most often closed his end of the bond.

" _Anakin_." How many times had he said Anakin's name now? " _What did you see_?"

Again, Anakin was stuck. He didn't know how to tell his friend - his brother - that he was from the worst possible future that they could ever hope to live. He would sound crazy, and he honestly still wasn't sure that what he was experiencing was real anyway; though the Force was constantly affirming his surroundings as real and true, tearing at him with its desire for him to know.

Obi-Wan's com-link beeped with an incoming call this time, saving Anakin again. Only ... his old Master made no move to answer it.

It was several moments of silence later that Anakin dared ask, "Aren't you going to answer that?"

"It's most likely the Council, wanting to talk about the violent wave in the Force." Obi-Wan didn't take his eyes off of Anakin's and for the first time in years, the once-Sith felt a very difficult-to-ignore-desire to fidget. "I don't see what good that will do, however, when you're the one who has the answers."

Perhaps years and years before, if Anakin had heard that sentence, he would have felt offended - unable to believe that his Master didn't trust him to tell the Council himself or some other such garbage. Now, however, after all of his experiences, it was simple to see that his Master was ignoring the call merely because Anakin was far more important. It warmed his heart in a way that he had thought only Luke could do again.

He had been quiet for a long while now, and Obi-Wan finally put a hand on his shoulder to ask (even while his com-link continued to beep), "Anakin … are you all right?"

"I … don't know." Anakin could hardly believe what was happening. For years, he had dreamed of going back in time, of killing his Master before he could betray him, of saving Padmé before he could harm her … yet those dreams had never felt the way he did now.

And now, after touching the light again, he had no desire to kill anyone except for the monster who had turned him in the first place, then maybe himself for ever following him.

"What did you see?" His master's voice was still as calm as ever, and now after years of being controlled by hate and loathing … it felt good to know that something would never change.

Even when he had killed Obi-Wan, the man had been calm and confident. The only time Anakin had seen anything different, he had been looking at him through the heat-filled air of Mustafar. The memory now had him swallowing and sweating again.

"I- … I saw _everything_."

And unfortunately, he had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I had forgotten this little clip I'd written, and I honestly had no plans beyond where I got to. But it made me cry the second time I read through it (maybe I was just having an emotional day), and so I felt it only fair to let others have the chance of reading it as well.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed it, and I'd love it if you let me know what you thought upon reading it.
> 
> It's also only fair of me to let you all know that this is only a clip, and that it was never supposed to be any longer than this. If a bunch of people want me to continue it, I'll probably try, but for now this is it. :)
> 
> Thanks!
> 
> -Al


	2. Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will warn you all now that this chapter is basically last chapter, just from Obi-Wan's POV. Stop reading now if you hate that I did that, and tell me that you hate that. 
> 
> I have a thing where I like to see stuff from different POVs, but it might be because I'm a writer, lol. Thanks for being patient with me. :)

An explosion echoed through the Force. It was concentrated entirely on his bond with Anakin, and seemed to be doing its level best to absolutely destroy it. Anakin's shields went up, leaving Obi-Wan drifting in the aftershock alone and untethered, pain his only companion. It was sudden enough to steal his breath away, and across from him he watched as Anakin practically doubled over in apparent agony.

"Anakin!" He shoved his pain away from himself, leaping up and around the table to grab his old Padawan by the shoulders. His grip was firm, but the only response he got from the other was a moan of pain and light, constant trembling. "Anakin, answer me!" He pushed through their pulsating, bruised and damaged bond, brushing against the impossibly tight shields of his Padawan - since when did Anakin know how to shield like-

Blue eyes snapped open, widening when they met Obi-Wan's gaze, and even without being able to feel anything from the other man the Jedi Master could see the shock and fear and confusion written all over the his Padawan's face. "Anakin, what-?"

Horror overtook all of the other emotions in the younger Jedi's expression, and he was suddenly pulling away from Obi-Wan, stumbling out of his seat and onto the floor. "Anakin!"

Before Obi-Wan could even reach for him again, he began to vomit, and where worry had gripped the Master before, stark fear filled him now. He stood up, ordering people to keep back and give his protege room, noting that most of the people around them seemed to be dealing with sudden headaches that had no doubt been caused by the backlash from the primarily telepathic explosion. He pushed his fear into the Force, putting his hand to Anakin's back while he finished throwing up. "Anakin, you're not well." 

A sound that could be interpreted as either a snort or a sob came from his Padawan, and he gripped his arm firmly. "Can you stand?" A half nod was the only permission he needed to pull Anakin to his feet, speaking quietly as he did so. "I think it would be best to leave now, don't you?"

Anakin's pale face was twisted with pain, but the dry statement still elicited a slight upturn of his lips. The sight filled Obi-Wan with hope and relief, though the younger Jedi's constant trembling told him that this problem was not going to go away anytime soon. 

"Sorry about the mess, Dex." He raised his voice enough for everyone around him to hear, and Dex waved him off with two of his four limbs, his eyes on the pale and trembling Anakin.

"Don't worry about it, Obi. Go take care of yer boy." 

"Thank you." Obi-Wan meant it, and he wasted no time in maneuvering his friend - his brother - out the door. Anakin was listless, and his eyes had closed (no doubt against the pain). He moved sluggishly, and Obi-Wan did most of the work getting them outside and away from the crowd.

The older Jedi was attempting to come to terms with just how close he had come to having his second training bond brutally severed, and supposed that he was probably only feeling a fraction of the pain that Anakin was currently experiencing. More of his worry was hastily pushed into the Force as he tried to remind himself to deal with the here and now. 

Something told him that the here and now was going to be a long time in becoming normal again.

Obi-Wan helped Anakin sit down against the wall behind Dex's Diner, and crouched down a few paces away. Anakin was breathing hard, and sweat was beading on his neck, making his hair stick to his skin. For a moment, the older Jedi was gripped with the fear that his friend was sick; perhaps ill with something unheard-of. Some strange Force disease that hadn't been heard of in years (and wouldn't that be just like Anakin?). Despite the illogicality of that train of thought, he put his hand on the younger man's forehead, feeling no undue heat, but that constant trembling instead.

He sighed, uncertain how he ought to continue, even as those light blue eyes flickered open to meet his. He removed his hand as Anakin's hesitant voice reached for him, though his shields remained as tight as they'd been since the explosion. "O- … Obi-Wan?"

"Anakin … what _happened_ in there? A vision?" He began to prod at their bond, mindful of what appeared to be emotional damage all along it. A tear escaped the from one of the eyes, running unchecked down his Padawan's face, and he brushed it away as he prodded more noticeably, keeping the Force gentle along their bond. "Oh, Anakin ... what did you see?" 

The question might have been a bad one - or it might have been good - but it definitely garnered a reaction. Tears streamed from Anakin's eyes even as the other end of their bond opened slightly, allowing Obi-Wan enough access to push calm and comfort towards his brother. He kept his feelings tightly hidden, but he was disturbed at the close control of their bond on Anakin's end, and extremely worried by the damage that he felt through the Force. 

Words would not be enough for the young Knight, and as soon as he realized it, he pulled him into a hug. It was while he held his protege that he realized, to his surprise, that the crying was absolutely silent - having experienced Anakin's tears before, it left him more worried than ever. Obi-Wan couldn't recall the last time that Anakin had cried, let alone so ... silently. 

The bond was still shut almost completely, and that's why it came as a shock when a small wave of elation came from Anakin, and he suddenly pulled from Obi-Wan's grip as he cried out, "Padmé!" His head smacked against the wall behind him, though that didn't deter him from attempting to rise clumsily to his feet. 

"Anakin! What do you think you're doing? I'm certain that if Padmé were in need we would have been notified!" Obi-Wan's worry spiked as he held him back from the speeder they'd come in. The younger Jedi seemed to have lost all sense.

"But-!"

"Anakin. You just collapsed from something that caused a very large backlash in the Force. It almost broke our bond, and I'm certain that I'm not the only one that felt it. So until I'm also certain that you're not going to fall over dead, it's best that you don't go running off to save a senator that hardly seems to need it." Obi-Wan kept his arms around Anakin as he spoke, pushing calming waves through the Force and trying to understand why his Padawan felt so different. 

So damaged. 

Anakin wiggled in his arms only for a moment before giving up, and leaning once more into Obi-Wan's embrace - more cause for alarm. His eyes were closed again, and he hadn't stopped shaking. He was silent as he let his old master support his weight, and for a moment - through the tiny thread that was now their open bond - Obi-Wan felt a deep-rooted hatred that had him swallowing his worry once again, pulling back to look Anakin in the the eyes.

"Anakin, _what did you see_?"

The younger Knight looked away even as his com-link beeped, and Obi-Wan frowned as he reached for it. Whatever Anakin had seen, it was clear that it had not only affected him, but perhaps changed him. 

Permanently. 

The pain, the devastation, the absolute anguish that he felt barely radiating from his carefully controlled Padawan had him extremely worried as to what damage had been done. Was it a vision? Anakin tended to get those through dreams, and had never been so changed by one before. 

His shields were ridiculously strong - stronger than any that Obi-Wan had felt before - and his lack of control over his body and emotions was extremely worrying. 

"Skyguy? I- … Are you all right? I felt something and then you closed the bond, and- … what happened?" Anakin had slipped to the ground, leaning against the wall again to answer his Padawan, and Obi-Wan sat down in front of him, deciding that it was probably safer if Anakin was going to keep shaking like he had been since the explosion.

"I … I'll tell you when we get back, Ahsoka." The tears had stopped, but it was clear that they were on the verge of returning. Anakin sounded absolutely broken, and his voice cracked on her name.

"All right, Skyguy, but this explanation had better be good." Ahsoka - for her part - was clearly doing her best to sound as normal as possible. Obi-Wan knew that she was probably dealing with the same headache that he was currently ignoring, the inevitable result of almost having a Force bond completely shattered. What worried him was how Anakin was taking it, with more shock than anything else. It was as though he were oblivious to the pain itself, though his had to be twice as bad as Obi-Wan's or Ahsoka's. 

"Please tell me you didn't close your bond off with her like that as well, Anakin ..." Obi-Wan spoke after the transmission ended, and Anakin's eyes began to shine with even more tears. Worry spiked again at the vulnerable sight, and he swallowed it to continue. "You've never been this closed before."

"Does it make you feel left out?" Anakin's voice was slightly petulant, though it was almost completely overridden by the awestruck tone behind it. Obi-Wan's tendency to guard his side of the bond more closely had always been a sore spot between them, but now it sounded almost as though Anakin were reminiscing. 

It scared Obi-Wan.

" _Anakin. What did you see_?" This time, it was HIS com-link that began beeping, and he silently cursed the council even as he studied the face of his listless friend. 

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Anakin had taken a long time to respond, confirming Obi-Wan's speculation that he seemed to be in absolute shock. His eyes were filled with uncertainty, and Obi-Wan responded as firmly and clearly as possible. 

"It's most likely the Council, wanting to talk about the violent wave in the Force. I don't see what good that will do, however, when you're the one who has the answers." There was a long moment of silence between them, and Obi-Wan carefully prodded at his Padawan's closed side of the bond. Anakin averted his eyes, leaving Obi-Wan to call them back with a firm hand on his shoulder. "Anakin ... are you all right?" 

Anakin's eyes filled once again with tears, threatening to spill out at the slightest movement. "I ... don't know." 

"What did you see?" Obi-Wan put the Force behind his words this time, radiating more calm than he certainly felt. A spark came from the other side of the bond, and Anakin's breath hitched. 

"I- ... I saw _everything_." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. I'm going to admit up front that I'm pretty shocked at how many of y'all liked this so much! It's so great to read all of your comments and see your kudos - seriously, thanks so much! But I am sorry, this chapter wasn't more, but I wrote it almost ... as a character study. I wanted to understand the situation from Obi-Wan's POV for if I ever continue it (which is looking more and more likely), so I wrote this. I'm sorry if I've disappointed you all. :/
> 
> Your comments are my lifeblood, so thank you for those! I'll do my best to decide where this could go without getting into too many complicated things, lol, and you'll probably see a continuance sometime soon! 
> 
> Love y'all!
> 
> -Al


	3. Breathing Colors

Obi-Wan’s eyes were blue. They had always been blue, but Anakin had never really focused so much on their color before.Now it was all he could look at. The last time he’d seen those eyes, they’d been corrupted by the red of his mask’s lenses. Their expression had been very different, then; he’d thought his old master had backed himself into a corner that day - the day Vader had struck the final blow - when really, Obi-Wan had given himself the high ground once again. 

Obi-Wan had known it, too. 

There had been a wry smile on his face, the kind he’d always gotten right before using some trick to beat Anakin in one of their old sparring matches. Anakin had thought that his old master had gone crazy, smiling like that when there was no trick. He hadn’t realized that the trick was his own son. 

Now Obi-Wan’s eyes, blue like Luke’s, bore into him. The Jedi’s expression wasn’t wry or humorous at all, instead brimming with concern and a touch of confusion. “Everything, Anakin? What do you mean, you saw everything?” 

Anakin had noticed as a boy that Obi-Wan’s accent was contradictory. It could be so clipped and sharp, and then it could be so round and smooth. Now it was round and smooth, just as it had been since Anakin had arrived back in the past. 

The past. 

A huff of laughter escaped him while his heart thumped oddly at the thought. He was in the _past_. He was truly being given a second chance, though Force only knew he didn’t deserve one. Obi-Wan’s hand squeezing his shoulder brought him back from the edge of hysteria along with a wave of calm in the Force, and he looked back up into the blue eyes (when had he looked away?).

“Anakin, what do you mean by everything?”

It was as though a jolt of electricity ran through Anakin, and he suddenly realized that a second chance meant that everything could be different. It could all change. As he looked into his master’s earnest blue eyes, he realized that he would never have to see them through the heat of Mustafar again. He would never have to see their muddy complexion through his mask, … he would never have to see Padmé die. He could get rid of Palpatine right then, if he really wanted. 

The idea that he could kill the Lord of the Sith before any of his large and convoluted plan came to fruition robbed Anakin of his already short breath (breathing without the whole apparatus was so strange). The Vader inside of him was eager and itching to go and kill the future emperor immediately, and the thought had Anakin choking as his breath hitched. The irony of the idea that Vader was finally choking Anakin Skywalker had him attempting to laugh, despite the fact that there wasn’t enough air to do so, and he knew he was in shock. 

As Vader, Anakin had never hyperventilated, what with his suit forcing the air in and out regularly, and he’d never really had cause to before that. Now, though, he found that it was very possible. 

“Anakin!” Obi-Wan’s voice was urgent, though it remained at the same decibel as before. “Anakin, breathe!” Both of Obi-Wan’s hands gripped him now, and the Force swirled around him while Obi-Wan tried to help through what little Anakin had opened their bond. All Anakin could think was that it was too bad that the Force hadn’t prepared him for this chance, since he was about to waste it by dying.

Thoughts swirled through his mind and colors danced before his eyes, darkening at the edges. Anakin loved seeing colors again. The only time the mask had ever come off - in his oxidized chamber - the colors around him had been white and devoid of life; he had been in his own personal prison. So to die like this now, surrounded by a whirlpool of color, was much more appealing to him. 

Luke had been colorful. Luke had been the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid his eyes on since Padmé’s death, and he could almost imagine his son there with him. Luke hadn’t given up on him, even when he’d been the blackest thing in the Force (apart from his master, of course). 

Luke hadn’t even been _born_ yet. 

There was nothing in that moment that Anakin desired more than to see his son; he wanted to go to his wife, to save her from it all … to help her meet Luke. 

He wanted to _live_. 

So, with the help of the Force pooling around him, Anakin Skywalker began to breathe. 

It was a long moment before he became aware of his surroundings once again. Obi-Wan was sitting beside him with an arm firmly encircling his shoulders; the Force was thick in the air around them. One glance at his old master told him that the man had at some point begun half-meditating, and so it was with hesitance that he croaked, “Obi-Wan?” 

“Anakin.” Hid old master’s eyes opened immediately, fixed on him with a determination that steeled their blue to an almost grey color. “You aren’t well.” 

“I-”

“Your vision can wait until tomorrow, Anakin. Today, we’re going back to the healers in the temple to make certain that you’ll survive this.” 

“No!” The panic was back, and Anakin began to pull away as he refused, only for the other Jedi to hold him fast. 

“Yes, Anakin! It’s become clear within the last hour that you need help!” Obi-Wan’s tone was sharp, and his eyes were serious.

“Not the temple! I won’t go back!” Anakin wriggled a little in his master’s firm grip, but Obi-Wan didn’t give him any slack. Thoughts of Palpatine and Padmé had fled his mind, and all he could think about was the Jedi. The Council, the _younglings_ , he’d murdered them all; he’d allowed their deaths with no thought or remorse - allowed Palpatine to _use_ him-

“Anakin, I’m not going to watch you destroy yourself because of what you’ve seen.” Obi-Wan’s voice softened a little, though his grip remained firm. A wave of calm washed over Anakin in the Force, and he felt his inner turmoil subside to a dull throb. “You’re going to come with me back to the temple, and you’re going to see a healer so that we can make certain that this vision won’t be the death of you.” His old master stood slowly, pulling to help Anakin up beside him, and then gently guided him towards the speeder. Anakin went without complaint, though Vader was rebelling inside of him; Obi-Wan was right, after all. 

“Yeah, I’ll go with you back to the temple.” He murmured. “I’ll see a healer so we know I’m not dying …” 

Obi-Wan gave him a look of alarm when he said that, but he didn’t dwell on it for too long, his master was just worried about him. Anakin was a little worried about himself, too. His legs wobbled beneath him, and he knew that he’d have to practice walking before they seemed normal again. How was he going to defeat Palpatine in his current state? 

The thought distracted him for only a moment before he looked at the speeder he was being guided towards and remembered the faces of those that he’d murdered. What was he doing?! He pulled backwards, surprised when he managed to slip through Obi-Wan’s grip, and then scrambled backwards when he hit the ground. Obi-Wan turned with a look of worried resignation, crouching down in front of him, and Anakin felt the calm wash over him again. “Anakin, please. You must come.” 

“I must- … no!” He pushed himself away from Obi-Wan, back towards the wall, his left arm collapsing on him twice before his back pressed up against it. There was a moment where Vader almost went to choke his old master, and he stopped himself just in time, instead crying out, “Stop that! I’m not going to let you take me in like an unruly Padawan, Kenobi!” He spat the words, feeling Vader rear up inside of him. His chest felt as though it would burst. When he’d been a child, he remembered sometimes having nightmares, and not wanting to sleep. He knew that Obi-Wan had sometimes used the Force to help him get to sleep. 

But _this_? 

“You’re trying to trick me into going!” 

“Anakin, I’m _not_!” Obi-Wan finally responded with some fire, standing abruptly, and the sudden remembrance of Mustafar robbed Anakin of his retort. He could only look up at his old master’s earnest and desperate face while Kenobi shot back. “Never in my _life_ have I managed to Force persuade you without you knowing it, and the fact that I did so just now without even trying to is merely another testament to the fact that _you are not well_!”

Anakin could only sit and watch. He could feel the fear and worry rolling off of his master in waves, and he knew that he was the cause. He’d done it to Obi-Wan before, and he’d done it to Padmé. He’d done it to everyone he’d ever loved, and now that he had the chance to go back and fix everything … here he was: doing it again.

For a long moment, both he and his former master merely held each other’s gazes. Anakin’s emotions were boiling over - warring with each other. He didn’t want to go to the temple, he wanted to kill Palpatine, he wanted to tell Obi-Wan everything, and yet he wanted to tell no one anything. He wanted to hug Ahsoka, to kiss his wife, to see her expression of love and acceptance and understanding (the same expression that Luke had inherited … was it possible to inherit an expression?)

Then -finally - Obi-Wan knelt before him, his eyes never breaking away from Anakin’s. “Anakin. Let me _help_ you.” There was no power of the Force behind his old master’s words, and Anakin knew that Obi-Wan had to be taking special care to avoid it. A warm feeling engulfed him again, and this time it had nothing to do with the Force. 

“Let me go to Padmé first.” Out of all the things that Anakin’s emotions wanted him to do, this one was the most prominent. Padmé always knew what to do, and he could be honest with her- … well. Mostly honest with her. For now it was probably best if he went with his experience being a vision. 

“Anakin.” Obi-Wan sounded even older than he had when Vader had killed him, but Anakin could feel more exasperation through the Force than almost anything else. Obi-Wan was hiding it well, but after years of hiding feelings and thoughts from his dark master, Vader easily picked them up from Kenobi. The older Jedi most definitely knew. 

“Please, Obi-Wan.” Vader hadn’t said a word like please in years, and Anakin was surprised at how easily it fell from his lips. “I- … I’ll go to the healers afterwards. Just … just give me time with …” He almost said ‘my wife,’ but at the last second thought better of it. Kenobi needed some mental rest from all of the stress before Anakin went and confessed.

Again, there was a long moment of silence while they held each other’s gazes, and then Obi-Wan’s eyebrow cocked upwards. “You swear you’ll come with me to the healers after seeing Padmé?” 

Anakin had been willing to swear it only moments earlier - and he still _was_ \- but the moment suddenly became very heavy. He truly was in the past, and though the Vader in him wanted nothing more than to kill the Emperor and take his wife away somewhere safe - perhaps never even acknowledge or deal with the Jedi ever again - … Anakin wanted this. 

He couldn’t quite put his finger on what _this_ was, but … he wanted it. And he was now realizing that part of getting it was opening up to his old master, even if he’d never done it before, and even if Vader still didn’t want to. So he prodded at Kenobi through their tattered bond, letting it widen a little to echo with his words. “I swear, Master.” 

Obi-Wan had to have been able to feel the weight of the moment as well, yet he merely gave a wan smile. “I’ll hold you to that, my old padawan.” Then he was helping Anakin to his feet, guiding him back towards the speeder, and the heavy moment was gone. 

Anakin felt lighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha ... *sweats* ... well. I know I took my time with this, and for that I'm sorry. I also know that it's very short, and I'm also sorry for that. 
> 
> To be very honest, this chapter sort of kicked me in the butt. I was planning on letting Anakin take the story wherever he wanted it to go next, but I ended up finding out (as you saw in the chapter) that he has no idea exactly what he wants to do. 
> 
> And poor Obi-Wan just wants to make sure that his Padawan doesn't die. 
> 
> Anyway. I low-key despise how this thing came out, and I literally live off of feedback (literally, no joke). So lemme know what you all thought, and if you have any suggestions, I really do read them. :) I don't always use them, lol, but I do read them and appreciate any and all ideas. 
> 
> So. Thanks for being patient, and I hope it was somewhat worth the wait.


	4. Of Politics and Padawans

It had been a fairly long day for Padmé, but one of the best. Despite the battle that it was becoming to keep freedoms within the Republic, and the fact that so much of the senate was blindly following rumors (along with the more and more dramatic - she was certain - exaggerations of Chancellor Palpatine), she was happy. 

Anakin had returned that day, and she knew that he and Obi-Wan had planned on going out to lunch before some training with Ahsoka. Then he was going to come home. Even the awful migraine that had come upon her quite suddenly only a half-hour earlier could do nothing to dim her excitement at the prospect of seeing her husband. It had almost been a full month, and she was dying to talk to him. 

She had actually been the one to insist that he and Obi-Wan have a meal together that day; their relationship had suffered ever since Obi-Wan had “died” to stop the assassination of the Chancellor. If Padmé were being truthful - which she strove to always be - she would have to admit that the fake death of such a close colleague still haunted her dreams. 

She was certain that it was the same for Anakin, though he tended to bury fear behind mistrust and anger. She hoped that he hadn’t been too hard on Obi-Wan in the past few months, just as she hoped that by talking to him tonight, she could perhaps ease the pain that Obi-Wan was experiencing as Anakin most likely shunned him. 

Padmé sighed as she considered the words and arguments that she would use in advance. Her husband had been getting much better at arguing since they’d gotten married, and she was fairly sure that the blame was hers more than Obi-Wan’s (though Anakin’s old master had certainly missed his calling in politics, based on the results he so often managed to produce in the field - Negotiator, indeed). 

She was broken from her thoughts when the door to her apartment chimed, and she excitedly went to answer it. Her excitement dimmed, however, when she realized how early it still was. Anakin still had four hours to go before he was supposed to show up, and Padmé hesitated at the door. Had Anakin come early because of something that had happened with Obi-Wan? Had they fought? 

Shaking her head to clear these thoughts, she pressed the button on the control panel that allowed it to slide open. Padmé’s eyes widened slightly in shock when she saw Ahsoka standing there. It was only years of working in politics that allowed her to respond immediately despite her surprise. “Ahsoka; I wasn’t expecting you. To what do I owe the pleasu-?”

“My master isn’t here, is he?” Ahsoka had appeared a little worried, but her tone had Padmé immediately on edge. She looked harried, and a little out of breath, almost as though she’d ran to arrive.

“I haven’t seen Anakin all day - in fact, I wasn’t even aware that you’d returned to Coruscant.” She stepped back and gestured for Ahsoka to come in, watching the young togruta closely. The girl was clearly nervous, and her eyes were squinting strangely, almost as though she were in pain. Of course, none of that stopped Ahsoka from giving her a very knowing look, her lips pressed together in disbelief. Padmé ignored the look - along with its ramifications - as she was gripped by apprehension. “Ahsoka, is something wrong? Did something happen to Anakin?” Padmé was caught off guard when the padawan suddenly turned to her, stopping her visual sweep of the apartment (as if Anakin was hiding somewhere) to fix her with an intense gaze. 

“There was a huge wave in the Force, Senator, and Skyguy was right in the middle of it.” 

Padmé’s was alarmed when Ahsoka’s eyes suddenly welled with tears. 

“I don’t know exactly what happened or what it was, but- …” She swallowed, steeling herself before Padmé even had the chance to really react. “There was so much _pain_.” 

Now Padmé was grabbing the young Jedi - no emotion be _damned_ \- and pulling her into a hug. She ruthlessly quelled her own panic as she spoke, and she knew she sounded more like she had as Queen Amidala than Padmé at that moment. “Hey, whatever happened, I’m sure it will all be fine.” At that moment, only that part of her that had so blankly played Queen Amidala could be calm; on the inside, she was beginning to worry nearly as much as Ahsoka.

The hug was returned fiercely, the togruta stealing her breath with how tightly she squeezed. “It almost broke our bond.” The words were whispered, and Padmé felt her blood run cold. She didn’t know a lot about the Force or being a Jedi, but Anakin had explained bonds to her before. He said that they had a bond, even if Padmé couldn’t feel it like he did. 

As she gently ran a hand down Ahsoka’s third lekku, she considered whether or not her sudden headache earlier had anything to do with what had happened with Anakin. “Does your head hurt?” Ahsoka nodded against her shoulder, and Padmé sighed, gently pulling away. That answered that. “Sit down, please. I’ll go get you something for the pain.” 

As she went for the medicine, Ahsoka’s trembly voice followed her out. “I called him. Right after it happened, I called him.” Padmé forced herself to move slowly as she retrieved some pain medication capsules (she could use some herself, truth be told), carrying it back in with some water as Ahsoka continued. “He looked … it was- Padmé, he looked awful.” 

Padmé watched as her husband’s padawan gratefully took the medication and the water, swallowing the capsules in one gulp before finishing off the water only seconds later. That couldn’t have been a healthy way to drink, but Padmé didn’t mention it, willing her hands to stay steady as she took her own medicine. After taking the sip required, she spoke purposefully, trying to ascertain what was happening. “And … how did he feel?” 

“I couldn’t feel him at all! I still can't!” Ahsoka’s voice had raised, though Padmé doubted that the teen had meant to shout. “He closed off the bond right after the big wave in the Force!” 

“And Obi-Wan?” Padmé’s chest hurt a little, and she realized that it was because she’d been holding her breath. She began forcing the air in and out, while Ahsoka shrugged helplessly. 

“I- … I think he was there, but I didn’t see him in the call …” The young Jedi seemed at a loss for a moment, and silence fell between them. It lasted for a short while, and Padmé attempted to process what was going on. She had never seen Ahsoka quite this distraught, and the only scenarios she could think up that would cause it were too horrible to dwell on. 

Anakin was alive, wasn’t he? Didn’t that mean something? And if Obi-Wan was with him, then he was likely in no danger of dying (there was no one Padmé trusted more to keep her husband alive, despite his best efforts). Still, her imagination wasn’t good enough. She needed details. “When you say he looked awful, Ahsoka, what do you mean?” Her voice had gone flat, and she knew she sounded like a queen. 

Ahsoka stayed silent for long enough to make Padmé begin to worry, then looked up, her eyes shining again. “Senator- … Padmé. When’s the last time you saw my Master cry?”

_That_ brought back memories. The Sandpeople - Tatooine and that horrible day that they’d spent there while he mourned- _keened_ for his great loss. When Obi-Wan had been suffering from an extremely trying mission (something to do with a Sith Temple, one Bail refused to tell her about) … “Quite a while ago.” She admitted. Anakin’s tears had never boded well. If there were tears- if there was _sadness_ , anger almost always replaced it. 

Ahsoka scrubbed her face a little, sniffing loudly, and Padmé stood mechanically to get a kerchief. No more words were said between them. There was a sort of understanding that they reached silently, and there wasn’t any point in either of them hiding or debating the fact that Anakin would show up here far sooner than later. On a whim, Padmé snatched one of her lap blankets from a chair, and draped it over Ahsoka, who was still trembling, before proffering the clean white cloth. 

“Thank you,” The togruta spoke quietly, using it to wipe her face, and Padmé nodded. Then, because the mood was so heavy, she mustered up a smile for the younger girl. 

“Anakin is strong, Ahsoka. I’m sure he’ll be all right.” 

Ahsoka merely regarded her with sad eyes; she seemed far older than her age when she responded. “I hope you’re right.” 

Padmé couldn’t help herself, pursing her lips for a moment at the (normally very optimistic) padawan’s tone. It must have been terrible - whatever had happened - but moping had never helped a soul and so it was with conviction that she pulled a smile onto her face to respond. “I _know_ I’m right. He’s got us, and we’re going to _make_ it right.”  
  
Ahsoka snorted, pulling the blanket around herself more tightly before her face fell back into a somber expression. “I have a feeling that making it right is going to be harder than you think.” She hugged her knees for a moment of silence before her eyes flitted up to meet Padmé’s again.

Padmé began to shake her head, a rebuttal rising to her lips when Ahsoka continued in quieter tone.

“He felt _broken_.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. Here's the next chapter folks. 
> 
> And actually, ya'know how I apologized for last chapter being short? I just looked at it today (because this chapter felt so short) and last chapter is the longest one so far. I can be such a duh, sometimes. *facepalm*
> 
> Aaaaanyway. Your comments and kudos are what keep me alive; I hope you enjoyed this chapter, even though it doesn't have the boys. Don't worry. We'll be back with Anakin and Obi-Wan next chapter. ;) 
> 
> -Al


	5. Days of Future Past

The wind in Anakin’s hair felt nice. He was slumped in the passenger side of the speeder, leaning tiredly against the back of his seat; Kenobi wasn’t piloting too quickly through the Coruscanti traffic, and Anakin watched lazily as buildings slipped by. He hadn’t felt the wind in so long - forget having _hair_ for it to blow through - and he could feel his nerves calming. 

He pushed the air in and out of his lungs almost greedily - it tasted so good. It was something that he was sure would be automatic in less than a day, but at that moment, he was all too aware of just what a gift it was. The smell of Coruscant had enveloped him with its motley array of food, fuel and people. Color surrounded him on all sides, and the sun was beginning to set. It was a beautiful orange red, and he couldn’t take his eyes off of it. 

He’d had dreams like this; dreams that Vader would never have admitted to - would have _died_ before acknowledging … dreams of just coming back and being with Obi-Wan, of sitting with Padmé, laughing with Ahsoka. Dreams where he wasn’t taking revenge on his old master (Vader had definitely had those as well), but where he was with him and all was right. 

Nothing had been right after the Purge. After Order 66. A shudder ran through him, despite the warmth of the air. He could feel Kenobi glance at him (Obi-Wan had been doing it since they’d taken off), but ignored it in favor of glancing down at his body. His legs and his left arm felt alien to him; it was like they weren’t his. He doubted that he would have much control over them anytime soon. He’d had to break in new legs before, and it wasn’t easy. It was painful and tedious and frustrating, and the Vader in him almost wished for the suit back. 

… Almost. 

His prison of 20 years; the Emperor had made sure of that. Hopefully since these limbs actually had been _his_ , it wouldn’t be so painful. Anakin scowled down at his left hand, and experimentally wiggled his fingers. It felt really strange - almost as though they were disconnected from his brain. He’d had phantom pains in his lost limbs for years, and so it was almost incomprehensible to once again see the appendages in the flesh. He let out a long sigh (and wasn’t that wonderful?). 

He didn’t deserve this.

Anakin could almost believe that he was in one of his perfect dreams. He could almost believe that everything was fake - it was too _right_. Of course, his shields were up as high as he could get them. He’d done it automatically soon after connecting with Obi-Wan through their bond, and he’d been blocking Sidious from the beginning - force of habit. He couldn’t afford for his former master to see or feel anything untoward - Vader wanted to confront the Sith, but Anakin was gripped with terror at the very thought. He knew that Sidious had likely already picked up far too much. 

Facing him head on would be foolish, in any case. No. He needed to undermine him, somehow. But his first priority was Padmé. She would _not_ suffer for his folly ever again. He needed to keep her safe this time. The only real problem with that was that the Dark Lord already knew far too much about him at this point. Anakin wasn’t sure what point of the war he’d arrived at, but it was a sure bet that Sidious already knew enough to ruin him. To ruin Padmé.

Of course, he didn’t care about getting kicked out of the Order this time, or dying himself (that would be a mercy for the galaxy, wouldn’t it?). He just wanted to make sure that Sidious paid for destroying his family, while keeping him from ever destroying them again. Padmé would live, and Palpatine would die. That was his goal. Beyond that, he didn’t know what he would do. 

Part of him wished that it had been someone else that went back in time, or that he’d been erased from existence (though that would mean Luke … his sister …). As it stood, he knew that it was time to pay for all that he’d done. He owed it to Luke, to Padmé, Ahsoka and … Keno- 

And Obi-Wan. 

Anakin huffed a little as he considered where he was at with all of them. Where he’d been at (he was in the _past_ ). He loved them all so much that it hurt, but there was a part of him that still found it difficult to look at Kenobi as anything other than a betrayer. For the first time in their flight, he twisted his head to look at the Jedi, and the man turned to look back. His face was dripping with emotions - almost too many for Anakin to read. Worry and anxiety, fondness and alarm, confusion and guilt … Before Anakin had the chance to pick at that last emotion, Obi-Wan’s lips quirked into a thin smile. “We should be there soon, Anakin. I’m taking the lanes slowly to keep from jostling you too much.”

Now Anakin was confused. It must have shown on his face (of course it did; without a mask everyone could see him) because Obi-Wan looked back at him after glancing ahead, his eyes narrowed slightly and knowingly. 

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed that headache you’re nursing over there.” He turned his eyes back to the air-lane before continuing. “I’m not the only one who got some of it from you, either. There was quite a lot of backlash.” 

Anakin wasn’t quite sure what he was supposed to say to that, and so he said nothing, just looking at the older Jedi. For years, he’d imagined killing this man. It was so strange to just be … here, sitting next to Obi-Wan as though nothing had happened. He supposed that for Obi-Wan, nothing _had_ happened, yet. Vader didn’t know what to do in this situation, and Anakin didn’t feel that he was prepared for it, either. His master was looking forward again, but spared him at least two more glances within the next minute. 

Anakin continued to stare. He still wasn’t used to the idea that he was in the past, and as he studied the lines of the Jedi’s face he had to wonder just when he’d come back to. They were clearly in the middle of the Clone Wars, but his memories of the battles had all bled together at this point (if he even bothered remembering them at all - Vader had tried for so long to squash down all of those memories …). 

Wait, he’d gotten a call from Ahsoka … so he’d come back to before she left the Order. A flare of rage slammed through him before he’d even really had time to process the fact. Vader’s lips turned into a scowl as he remembered the Council’s decision. How Obi-Wan had done nothing but watch while Ahsoka was betrayed. How they had _all_ watched - just as they had _always_ done. Never interfering beyond coming to incorrect conclusions about other people and then never listening to reason. 

A flaming desire to kill the other padawan (Bariss?) along with the Jedi Council lit Vader’s heart, and he felt the Force ripple around him darkly. It would be so easy now; he’d killed so many of them at this point, it was all he was _good_ for-

“Anakin?” 

He turned to see Obi-Wan looking at him again, and his old bond warmed with the Jedi’s touch. A light touch. Uncertainty, fear, guilt, worry, protectiveness and love. All of the emotions hit him, fizzing like sparks for a moment before Kenobi pulled back, his shields going up. Anakin felt as though he’d seen more of the man’s feelings than he’d been supposed to, but was still in too much shock to do much about it. The sparks and the feelings had pulled at him, filled with enough light for him to remember Luke. Guilt slashed through him as he realized just what he’d been considering.

Vader was pushed back as Anakin felt his breath catch again. What had he been thinking? How could he save _anyone_? The best thing he could do for the galaxy would be to _die_. Perhaps even if it meant the loss of Luke … Anakin took a glance down over the side of the speeder into the depths of Coruscant. It would be so _easy_ …

He’d hardly even considered it when the Force surrounded him like a blanket of calm, and he pulled his head back around to look at the source of the light. 

“Breathe, Anakin.” Obi-Wan’s voice was soft - and between his constant glances to the sky-lane - his eyes were full of an emotion that Anakin couldn’t quite put a name to. For a long moment, they just looked at each other, and the Force settled around Anakin with peace and patience, prompting him to at last take a shaky breath.The colors and sounds of Coruscant, so bright and vibrant before, now seemed muted under the calm in the Force. Obi-Wan turned back to the sky-lane with a sigh, then spoke, just as softly as he had before. “Anakin, I think it’s long past time that I told you … I’m sorry.” 

The calmness could not stop the shock that tore through Vader at the words. Anakin wondered vaguely what his old mentor was apologizing for, but soon gave up as the Force swelled with guilt and … something else. His eyes were wet with tears again, and he opened his mouth to answer. Nothing came out, though Obi-Wan politely waited for far longer than was necessary before he continued. 

“I know that these past months have been … hard for you.” The round tones were pulled tight, and yet still managed to be as soft as before. 

Vader couldn’t help but snort at that; if only Kenobi knew how understated his observation truly was. He’d snorted from behind the mask before, but it was still shocking to hear it so loud and clear without it, and he saw the Jedi glance over again, his expression unreadable. His eyebrows were knit together, creasing his forehead in a way that was achingly familiar. 

“Yes, I’m aware that I couldn’t possibly understand how you must have felt.” There was a dry and sarcastic edge to the comment, and Anakin was sure that if he knew what Obi-Wan was talking about, he’d have understood it. As it was, he merely stared incomprehensibly at the man, who had stopped glancing over. The Jedi was gripping the speeder controls far tighter than was necessary, and for a long moment, it was all Anakin could focus on. Then Obi-Wan sighed. “It was Padmé who mentioned it, actually. Reminded me of- … Qui-Gon.” 

Why were they talking about Qui-Gon?

Their eyes met again when Obi-Wan glanced over, and he frowned at Anakin’s expression before returning to face forward. “Anakin?” 

The wind was still running through Anakin’s hair, and he could feel the pull of the calm in the Force around him. He was beginning to feel sleepy and comfortable - the latter being something that he hadn’t felt in years, and the first something he’d ignored just as long. Obi-Wan was talking about Qui-Gon, and he didn’t know why, but he knew that the Jedi seemed to expect some sort of answer. 

Anakin opened his mouth, but he only managed to say, “What?” 

Obi-Wan glanced at him again, his eyes lingering longer than they had before - softening as he sighed (a whisper of guilt ran through the Force). “Rest, Anakin. It can wait.” 

It was definitely something important to Obi-Wan, but the weight of Anakin’s body and the comfort of his seat - of the Force cocooning him - kept him from pressing the man to explain. He was safe. He was tired. And he had so much work ahead of him … 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a kick, I guess, which means you guys get the next chapter much more quickly than you normally would. Hopefully I can keep this up, but if I can't then I apologize. 
> 
> I hope nothing about this chapter was confusing, and as always, your feedback is my lifeblood. ;)


	6. Trust

Obi-Wan breathed out a sigh of relief as his old Padawan finally sank into sleep. He felt as though he’d sighed more in the last hour than he had in his entire life before (ridiculous), and was almost certain he’d aged a few years as well. He spared a glance at Anakin, who was flopped the seat the same way Obi-Wan had helped him to sit originally. 

The Jedi Master had been trying to release his worry into the Force, but with the way Anakin was acting, the strain of releasing his emotions was getting more and more difficult. The Force was whirling around the young man next to him, dipping and moving in an unfamiliar and alarming way. It had been like that for over an hour now, brushing against Obi-Wan’s shields uncomfortably despite the durasteel wall that Anakin had put up to hide his thoughts and emotions. Obi-Wan was fearful about what was behind that wall, and it took effort to release it into the Force. 

Obi-Wan knew that he hadn’t been entirely successful, the fear still curled itself around his heart, and he tightened his fingers around the speeder controls as he considered all that had happened. His bond with Anakin was still bruised and throbbing, broken and barely warmed - as though the younger Jedi hadn’t used it in years. 

Then there was the darkness. 

There had been a moment where the Force swirling around Anakin had abruptly turned dark, causing the air around them to freeze, and a few closely passing pilots to shudder. Obi-Wan had panicked, pushing out his own Force sense, surrounding his old Padawan with as much light as he was capable of producing. He’d pushed through their bond gently, and Anakin had come around enough to look at him. The younger Jedi had seemed confused, and the Coruscanti sunset had lit his eyes enough that they’d seemed to glow for a moment …

Obi-Wan had felt the sharp observance through their bond, as though Anakin were picking through his emotions. It hadn’t felt like Anakin - it wasn’t something Anakin had ever done before. It had felt _invasive_. He’d pulled back, and Anakin had returned to what was beginning to be a constant state of confusion and shock.

Fear and worry gripped Obi-Wan again as he considered Anakin’s reaction to his apology. It had been difficult to say those words - for months now, his former Padawan had been colder around him, treating him as though he’d ruined their relationship and wasn’t worthy of trust. Obi-Wan had been understandably hurt. To come back to life (never mind the fact that he’d never died to begin with) and be treated as though his death had never mattered …

Peripherally, Obi-Wan knew that he’d hurt Anakin badly with his faux death. It hadn’t been his intention, and the young Knight’s reaction really _had_ sold the idea of the great Republic hero Master Kenobi having died. It had been to save the Chancellor’s life, though, and Obi-Wan had assumed that Anakin would understand that much; he’d assumed that Anakin would even appreciate it. It was _war_ , after all. Months of avoidance later, and Anakin still hadn’t forgiven or forgotten.

Then Padmé had stepped in. 

Obi-Wan knew that his protege had some sort of relationship with the Naboo Senator. He knew that it was likely something against the code. Yet he also knew that whatever it was between them, it left Anakin lighter and happier. It was like a rare glimpse into the past at a young slave boy who had long since grown up; he would always come from meeting the woman with a beatific smile on his face (a smile that the old Master could never begrudge), practically glowing in the Force. 

Obi-Wan had ignored it for years, hoping that Anakin would eventually trust him with it - which, after the Rako Hardeen incident, was unlikely to _ever_ happen.  So when Padmé had called him at the end of one of their missions, he’d naturally assumed that she’d meant to call Anakin. He’d tactfully begun to imply as much when she had cut him off, her eyes flashing and her stance rigid. 

_“Master Kenobi. Do you have a moment?”_

He could clearly remember the conversation that followed, where his confusion had melted into frustration with both Padmé and Anakin, and then morphed into horror at what he’d done to his own Padawan. All of his arguments and justifications had withered and paled in the face of her very logical question. 

_“Do you remember how you felt when Master Jinn died, Obi-Wan?”_

Obi-Wan spared another glance for the young Knight as he turned the next corner. Padmé’s apartment was only minutes away, and he knew she would be able to help. He let loose another sigh as he pushed his guilt into the Force. He would apologize again later, when Anakin was more coherent. 

Speaking of apologies … Obi-Wan reached reluctantly into his robe to pull out his comlink, wincing as he saw that he’d missed three calls since it he’d turned it off; doubtless his holocommunicator had been contacted just as many times. For a moment he debated calling them back (it would be better than being found at Senator Amidala’s apartment with Anakin) then shook his head and replaced the comlink in his robe, pulling the Force around him to hide his signature. Anakin’s was already hidden, worryingly enough, and had been since the incident. Obi-Wan would worry about appeasing the Council later - maybe step out of the apartment to call them from the Senate building.

They were close enough now that he could see the ornate landing pad, and he gave his sleeping apprentice another glance as he brought them in. Padmé’s soft signature seeped from the inside, worry infusing it. There was no way she could have known what had happened, though, so why- 

Ah. 

Ahsoka’s signature also pulsed from within, though it felt far more subdued. Obi-Wan furrowed his brow as he landed the speeder as gently as possible, not willing to wake his apprentice just yet. The fact that Ahsoka had come here told him more than he wanted to know, but he put the thought out of his mind as he turned the speeder off, hopping out lightly as Padmé exited her apartment to greet him.

“Obi-Wan.” Her soft tone, at odds with her firm expression and the urgency in her eyes, matched her appearance. Her hair twisted up in a plaited bun, and her dress hung delicately on her frame. Her gaze was for Anakin, but she looked back at Obi-Wan when he came around the speeder, tucking his hands into his sleeves. “Ahsoka came a while ago and told me that something had happened.” 

The question was clear despite her never having voiced it, and Obi-Wan sighed as he stooped into a slight bow. He couldn’t help but flick a glance towards her apartment, certain Ahsoka would come barreling out at any moment. “I’m not certain as to what happened, exactly. It seems as though it was a vision, but …” 

Padmé watched him for a moment, her large eyes searching his, and then pressed. “But?” 

Obi-Wan avoided sighing again, suddenly feeling very old. He wasn’t ready to answer any questions; he still didn’t know what had happened himself. “When did Ahsoka get here?” Making Ahsoka the object of his worry was far simpler than addressing the real one, and it was a diversional tactic that he didn’t often employ when talking about his own apprentice’s health. His own health, on the other hand …

Padmé gave a wan smile, putting a hand on his shoulder to call his attention back to her. “Around half an hour ago. She fell asleep too, Obi-Wan … She was very worried about Anakin.” Her soft tone belied the durasteel at its center, her reiterated question clear.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Senator.” He spoke quite honestly, then continued before she could mention his formal mode of address. “I’ve never heard of a reaction like this to any vision, let alone seen one.” 

“What reaction?” Padmé’s eyes were on Anakin again, though they flicked in his direction with a tiny smile when she added, “And please, call me Padmé.” 

Obi-Wan didn’t really know how to answer that, and could only follow her gaze to his sleeping Padawan. 

“He … He’s had Force visions before, hasn’t he?” Padmé said it hesitantly, and Obi-Wan couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. Her voice had gone even softer than before, and she looked for all the world as though she wanted to reach out and touch Anakin. Honestly, this was something the Jedi Master had ignored for so long, he felt numb looking at the tender emotion on her face. 

“Anakin has only ever had visions through dreams for as long as I’ve known him.” He admitted, ignoring the fact that she knew about them as well, along with its ramifications. 

“Ahsoka said that he was in pain.” Padmé turned to face him fully, her gaze sharp with worry that Obi-Wan understood all too well. “That isn’t normal for visions, is it?” 

“No.” His voice came out more strained then he’d meant for it to be, but it was wasn’t something he could take back. “It isn’t.” 

There was a long moment of silence, then. Padmé was looking at Anakin again, her face carefully cleared of any emotion except for an expression of mild interest. It was one Anakin had worn many times over the years (who had picked it up from whom?) and Obi-Wan took the opportunity to release more of his anxiety into the Force. 

“Why did you bring him here, instead of taking him to the Temple?” Padmé asked at last. 

“He refused to go to the Temple.” Obi-Wan said after another, smaller pause. He wasn’t sure how much he ought to tell her, and so just decided to begin. “Ever since the vision he’s been acting different, Sen- … Padmé. He’s been acting like … like everything is _new_. He was sick almost immediately after the vision, and almost hysterical for an hour after that.”

“Hysterical?” Padmé looked as though she had more to say on that, but he never gave her the chance, the story - the _worry_ \- was falling from his lips almost of its own accord.

“He feels different, too. His Force signature feels different, his shielding is suddenly better than most Jedi Master’s- _Padmé_ ,” Obi-Wan pushed his urgency into the Force, letting it fill the air around him, suddenly adamant that she understand exactly how he felt - exactly _what_ he’d felt. “Our bond in the Force was almost _broken_ when he had the vision. I don’t know what exactly happened, but I fear that Anakin won’t ever be the same-” 

“ _Don’t_ say that.” Padmé cut him off, then, voice low. Her eyes were glittering like diamonds, and they were just as hard. “Don’t say that he won’t ever be the same, Obi-Wan Kenobi. He is Anakin Skywalker, and he is right _there_ ,” she pointed, “living and breathing as well as you or I. You say your bond was almost broken; Ahsoka told me the same thing. Yet your bonds are both still intact, and so is Anakin.” Her voice softened again. “I’m worried about him, too. But we can’t give up before we even know what we’re facing.” 

Obi-Wan felt slightly offended at the insinuation that he was giving up - in any capacity - on his old Padawan, but the woman’s words grounded him in a way that he hadn’t felt since the beginning of the whole incident. “I assure you I have no plans on giving up on him. I’m aware that he is still alive, Padmé. I’m just … cautious about the effect this vision seems to have had on him.” 

She continued to stare him down for a moment before nodding, accepting his answer. “You said he refused to go to the Temple.”

“He panicked as soon as I suggested it.” Obi-Wan frowned at the remembrance. “I did manage to get him to agree to it in the end, though he said he’d only go on the condition that he could see you first.” 

Padmé’s eyes widened, and a faint blush spread across her cheeks. After a moment of silence she opened her mouth, but no sound came out. 

Obi-Wan gave into his desire to sigh then, pulling out his comlink to see that he’d missed another call before bending into another slight bow. “If you would excuse me for a moment, Senator, I need to call the Jedi Council to explain the situation.” He held up a hand before she could panic, adding on, “I won’t tell them of your involvement, as it ultimately has nothing to do with Anakin’s vision. I suggest that you refrain from anything indiscreet, however, with Ahsoka asleep in the other room.” 

Then he turned on his heel and marched from the room before she could answer.

Part of him was shocked and horrified at how forward and blunt he’d just been with her, and another part of him felt immensely relieved to have been honest. He vaguely wondered why - of all people - he’d told Senator Amidala everything that he just had. Why he hadn’t called the Council immediately, to report what had happened to his protege …

As soon as he’d closed the door to the ‘fresher, he forwent his comlink and activated his holocommunicator to call the Council. He placed it on the counter, schooling his face into a blank look of mild interest as the call went through. A moment later, all of them were floating before him, with Jedi Master Mace Windu front and center. “ _Kenobi. We called you several times; why didn’t you pick up?_ ” 

“Forgive me, Masters. My comlink was deactivated for an important meeting.” Obi-Wan _had_ technically met with Anakin and Padmé, and their conversations _had_ definitely been important. “How can I help you?” 

Windu’s eyes narrowed, but before the Korun Master had the chance to call Obi-Wan on his half-truths, Yoda spoke up. “ _Call for an emergency meeting of the Council, we did. A great disturbance in the Force, there was._ ” 

“Yes, I know. I’d imagine we all felt it.” Obi-Wan allowed his tone to dry out, burying his emotions from his talk with Padmé. 

“ _It’s bigger than that, Kenobi._ ” Mace was clearly annoyed by something, or worried (or both?). It was hard to tell with him, but he was definitely in some sort of _mood_ if he was purposefully using Obi-Wan’s last name like that. “ _All of the shatterpoints* that have been in place for years have changed completely or disappeared. The whole balance of the Force has shifted._ ” 

Obi-Wan’s blood ran cold as the ramifications of the statement hit him. He knew exactly who had been in the center of the large Force-explosion. He knew which shatterpoints Mace was talking about. Anakin’s presence in the Force had always been blindingly powerful - like a sun that you couldn’t help but orbit, all the while wondering if you would eventually burn. He’d known that his padawan was powerful in the Force - but to shift the whole balance …

Hesitantly, Obi-Wan reached out to touch the Force around him, focusing on it in a way that he hadn’t ever since Anakin’s vision. It swirled powerfully and agitatedly, and he pulled back from in it shock. How had he missed it? The light was a little brighter, a little stronger than it had been before-

“ _Obi-Wan._ ” 

The Jedi Master turned his attention back to the holo, and saw that all of the Jedi Masters were looking at him. “Yes?” His voice seemed to come from far away rather than from his own mouth, and all he could think about was Anakin. Padmé had gotten angry at him for saying that his Padawan would never be the same, yet the _Force itself_ had changed-

“ _Obi-Wan, where is Skywalker_?” Mace’s voice came through the holo much more gently than Obi-Wan was used to, and with herculean effort he managed to push away his feelings to answer. “ _We know that he was the center of whatever happened._ ”

“Anakin closed the bond soon after the disturbance in the Force. I can’t sense him.” 

“ _Find him, you must_.” Yoda’s ears had drooped a little, and his eyes seemed far too knowing for Obi-Wan’s liking (not that it was going to make him give up Anakin’s current location). “ _Clouded, the Force has been. Clear, it is, on this._ ”

Windu cast the diminutive Jedi a searching look, then nodded at Obi-Wan. “ _Bring him here. We need to find out what exactly happened._ ” 

“Of course.” Obi-Wan’s voice remained faint in his own ears. “I’ll take him in as soon as I’m able, though I should perhaps mention - whatever it was that happened greatly affected the bond between us; it was almost broken. Anakin will most likely require the services of a mind healer.” 

“ _And you, Obi-Wan_?” Yoda’s hum crackled in a moment of bad connection. “ _Require a mind healer as well, do you_?” 

“I don’t think-”

“ _You and Anakin will report to us, and then go directly to the healers afterwards._ ” Windu’s tone brooked no argument, and Obi-Wan saw Master Fisto hide a smile while Master Mundi gave a slight shake of his head. 

“ _You should probably take young Ahsoka with you as well._ ” Master Plo Koon spoke up, his voice muffled by his mask. “ _It is likely that both of Skywalker’s bonds were affected._ ” 

“As you say.” Obi-Wan gave a slight bow, then. “Thank you, Masters.” 

“ _May the Force be with you, Master Kenobi._ ” Windu replied before the transmission cut, and Obi-Wan let loose his longest sigh yet. 

He’d told them nothing of note, and despite the fear that had wrapped around him snugly on behalf of Anakin, he had to wonder what the difference was. Why did he mention nothing of Anakin’s condition? More importantly, why had he told all of it to Padmé Amidala? She was no Jedi. 

For a moment Obi-Wan could only stare into his reflection in the ‘fresher mirror, seeing the Jedi before him as practically unrecognizable. There were faint circles under his eyes, and his face had become thin enough that his beard was having trouble hiding it. He wondered when his current state had become normal for him, then wondered when it had become normal for _any_ of them. Ahsoka was not as well off as she often pretended to be, and Anakin- 

Oh, _Anakin_. 

Everything revolved around his old Padawan, and yet Obi-Wan knew that if he could have any wish granted in that moment, it would be to let Anakin sleep for as long as he liked. He clearly needed it. 

It was this thought that had him gasping softly, plucking the holocommunicator off of the counter to tuck into his robes. His trust in Padmé had nothing to do with who she was, where she was _or_ what rules she had perhaps broken … It had _nothing_ to do with Padmé Amidala, Senator from Naboo. It had _everything_ to do with Padmé, Anakin’s good friend. 

Anakin’s _attachment_.

Because in the end, the only thing either of them had ever wanted was the best for Anakin. It had been clear from the moment he’d landed the speeder, when she’d lowered her voice to keep either of his Padawans from waking. 

Padmé _loved_ Anakin. 

And damn it ... so did Obi-Wan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Shatterpoints are things that some Jedi can see - Windu being one of them. Very simply, for those of you who are unfamiliar with them, shatterpoints can be centered around people or things (people can in fact have their OWN shatterpoints) that will basically make or break a part of the future. Look 'em up if you have time, they're really cool. 
> 
> Okay. Well. 
> 
> I know that this fic has been moving kind of slowly for some of you, and while I promise that there will definitely be action in the future, I will not sacrifice any character development to get to it faster. I'm sort of just letting these guys take stuff at their own pace (and wow, I did NOT expect Obi-Wan to have so much to say in this chapter). 
> 
> Honestly, I had planned on having him talk to the Council while in the speeder (which he didn't do) and then finished the chapter chatting with Padmé until Anakin woke up (which he also did not do). My plan did not involve any of the feels that bombarded me when I finished, but I digress. 
> 
> Your comments and kudos really brighten my days and make me feel loved. :) Thank you - all of you - who are reading and enjoying this. I'll shut up now. I guess Obi-Wan wasn't the only one with a lot to say. ;) 
> 
> May the Force be with y'all

**Author's Note:**

> Welp. I wasn't going to continue this unless people liked it, but it seems like people like it! So. I guess I'm going to write it, lol. 
> 
> Y'all are lil' gremlins, but I love you and I'm glad you like my story! It's for you that I'm gonna continue it (and partly for me) so lemme know what you think, and be patient while I whip it out (cuz it'll be slow going!) 
> 
> Love y'all! 
> 
> -Al


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